The Last Time

“I am your parent, you are my child. I am your quiet place, you are my wild.”

My darling girl has her first nativity today. This is it, this is the beginning of the ‘letting go’ process and I’m just not as ready as I thought I’d be to let my baby grow up.

I swear it was yesterday that I was the centre of her world and we were playing mermaids in the bath before she’d even learnt words. Now her world has broadened its horizons, her independence is showing its face more everyday and she’s ready to jump into this life confidently with every atom of her being, and while I love her fierce little ways, I wonder and hope that the world is ready and kind to her.

In the meantime I’ll hold on to these next few years with gritted teeth while I learn to slowly let my mermaid go.

(God help me on her first day of school.)

*UPDATE*  It’s ok guys, she absolutely bottled it and spent most of the first half on my lap sobbing… But then if you haven’t boo’ed for the majority of a nativity at least once did you even have a childhood?! – Guess she’s still my baby for now. ❤️

——

My darling bumblebee, you are the sun. ❤️

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before, 
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

But don’t forget …You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

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