Miscellaneous greatness

I have no idea what the fuck to call this?

I basically had a few bits to use up in he fridge and sort of just winged it… no change there then.

It’s essentially a twist of meatballs with chicken meatballs instead with a twist on the el Classico.

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Just stay with me on this. I didn’t even take photos because I wasn’t expecting much till I tasted at the end and blew my own mind!

You will need:

  • Chicken meatballs/pre made were what we had but if you’re a culinary wizard then smash them out ya self!
  • Passata sauce
  • Worcester sauce (the tits in every meal)
  • Mushrooms
  • Onion
  • Celery
  • Spinach
  • Spaglehettiiiii
  • Garlic

Soooo, we all know where this is going, although this time I didn’t even follow a recipe so the winging was real. (I also expected it to be beef meatballs when I got them out the freezer yesterday so this all came to me like a vision in white.)

Method:

  • In a large frying pan heat oil, finely chopped onion (to the point its pulverised if your other half had an aversion to it and used less than half of one), garlic and salt (if it’s not for the kiddies)
  • Finely chop 2 celery stalks and add
  • Finely chop mushrooms and do the same (I used 2 and again, pulverising was essential)
  • Add the chicken balls, we had a 12 pack and it made 3 big meals (once they were almost fully cooked I quartered them so they were less offensive)
  • Add enough passata to get them swimming, not drowning and add a cup of water
  • Add Worcester sauce, I’d add gallons if I could but you do you
  • Get the spaghetti on
  • Let it simmer and add some pasta if it looks a bit dense. (I let it simmer for about half an hour- 45 mins to get even more flavour)
  • In the last 5 mins add spinach
  • Serve with lashings of cheese if you fancy. Of course you fancy! (Some mozzarella would have gone down an absolute treeeat!)

Beaux loved helping again chopping the mushrooms, breaking up the celery and sprinkling the spinach (could have used basil) we went on a massive walk and got an onion on the way so coming in from the chilly afternoon this was very warmly welcomed! (I did have to go over all the chopping to get it really fine but it was great to get her involved!)

I mean, I’m not sure how much Play Doh she ate with it, but it was a hit! I thought about adding a red pepper we needed to use up but I didn’t think the flavours would gel. Again you could mix up the meat/veg or even pasta type, essentially making it a completely different fucking meal 🤣

Enjoy!

Hx

Mushroom Risotto

This one was loads of fun as it involves lots of stirring (witch brews, magic potions, cake mix) as well as cutting, breaking and sprinkling to work in all those fine motor skills.

Professional mixer

You will need:

  • Risotto rice
  • Mushrooms
  • Onion
  • Spinach
  • Asparagus
  • Vegetable stock
  • Parmesan
  • Butter
  • Garlic

(I’ll give you the measurements we used, we roughly followed the BBC goodfood (another classic). Also add wine or chicken if you want/have any)

Method:

  • Heat oil and add onion and garlic, fry until softened
  • Add the cut up mushrooms and fry until browned and add spinach and asparagus  (I got Beaux to use her child knife and cut up the mushrooms, break up the asparagus and sprinkle in the spinach)

 

  • Stir in rice and coat in the oil till glossy then slowly add stock and simmer, stirring while you go until liquid is absorbed. Continue till all liquid is absorbed and the rice is silky and tender (we used 1.2l of hot veg stock)
  • Add a little butter, salt/ pepper for adults and serve with freshly grated Parmesan.(Beauxs favourite part was definitely the cheese!)

I never realised how simple this is to make but after smashing it I felt like a Hells Kitchen survivor! Now I’ve got to grips with the basics we will definitely be varying it! It’s definitely a great was to get a decent meal out of the strays you need to use up in the fridge/freezer. – Ideal end-of-the-month meal.

Obviously she then realised she had to eat what turned out not to be “cake mix”

Hx

Feminism, Shmeminism

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Now who’s the exhausted a**ehole?!

Imagine, I’m there drinking another gallon of coffee at 6pm last night in a bid to feel and look less like a dug-up-corpse for parents evening. It had only been microwaved once so I felt like I was transported to Starbucks, Riverside MotherF*cker.

Fast forward to 10pm, I’m ready for our rock-star-bed-time and now Casey is fully unconscious. Meanwhile I’m so caffeinated I can’t feel my face and that mixed with this anxiety bastard that wont let me sleep as of late, plus the anticipation of one of my closest friends about to give birth any moment, I lay there checking my phone every 5 seconds making sure it was still working.

Obviously the second I fell asleep he woke up in a ravenous frenzy demanding alllll the ounces and by the end of the animalistic feed we were both ready for the long nap. He slept for another 6 hours which is up there in epic proportions to normal.

Only to be woken to messages of an out-of-the-blue engagement – the second of the week (feeling the love guys) and the arrival of Baby! I mean at what point could I sleep after that! ❤️💙

 

So its made me realise, if I wasn’t up with Casey, I’d be up for another reason and sometimes, it’s just easier to blame someone else.

 

In other news, while taking out the rubbish this morning, I noticed this little sock situation…

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My sock voluntarily did the roll thing – Circa 1994, Year 2 – where the ‘tighter the roll, the closer to God’ or some shit. And while my love for a sock/sandal combo knows no bounds at the moment, this takes me back to when your social status was based entirely on the roll quality.

How I long to go back to a simpler time.

Hx

Hank Marvin

So here I am, telling my 2 year old not to fuck with me till I’m highly caffeinated. Which, by my standards, probably won’t be till about 3pm.

I feel slightly bad as it’s not her fault her brother was an arsehole all night, but she slept in her My Little Pony jumper 🙄 again last night and she’s been sporting a Cinderella dress over the top of it since 6am so as far as I’m concerned, her day can’t get much better.

While I was pregnant anyone and everyone warned me about having a boy. “You’ll never sleep again. Good luck with the feeding. Prepare yourself for their hunger” and I remember thinking “oh bore off” along with all the useless comments people think are acceptable to say to a pregnant person (which will lead me on to another post, fear not)

But boyyyyy was this something that actually materialised to be of some truth.

I mean, it’s not like there’s anything I could do to prepare myself – Like doing a few laps around the village, sucking on some orange slices, getting some extra sleep or even just any sleep in while I was pregs – which by the way doesn’t happen.

But this kid is something else. There’s 3 gestation weeks between him and his sister. She was 2 weeks late and he was a week early. I’ve tried putting her hunger down to being older than she was and his down to trying to ‘catch up’. Realistically they’re just greedy bastards.

At this point she was already having baby rice in the evenings to tie her over – yes my health visitor said it was fine after 4 months if they show signs they’re ready – before I feel your judgey eyes reading this. So I tried some with him last night…

Only to be met with his disapproving looks towards flavour, temperature and just overall experience. But then if I’d been drowning in sweet warm nectar for the first 4.5 months of life to then be given cold red pepper slime I’d be pretty livid about the whole thing too. (Daddy’s impeccable choice from the limited Tesco express selection)

He’s trying to make light of the situation here but I really felt his disappointment.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset We tried apple purée after and that went down like a Nando’s to the cheeky type. He only had 2 spoonfuls but I think it opened his eyes to a whole new world (fully riding that Arabian carpet). I forget how baby’s turn into crackheads after their first purée hit.

I thought maybe we’d cracked it as we put him down for the long nap… alas, I was wrong.

As standard, for the 3rd night this week he woke up with no warning just 0 – Ethiopian-starved in 0.3 seconds. Anyone listening would think we’d locked him in the cupboard under the stairs and waited for a Hogwarts letter to feed him. In reality he’s eating every 3 hours. 😂🙄

So now I sit desperately, looking out the window with my gallon of cold coffee, praying that Tesco hurry’s the fuck up so we can unload all of the baby food.

Meanwhile,

and its only Wednesday!..

Pray for me,

Hx

Kids say the darndest things.

As we draw ever closer to Christmas and being constantly reminded by my daughter every waking minute, its made me reflect on how much more aware of it all she is this year. The excitement is bursting out of her like a can your friend at school would shake in a bid to soak you in humiliation – Unfortunately in this situation I can’t ‘tap her three times’ to minimise the pent up hysteria.

This time last year she could barely speak, had an offensive barnet, tiny gappy teeth and as the title would suggest, if you asked her to say Christmas her response was “Piss”.

It seems we’ve gone in full circle this past year, from telling everyone “Merry Piss” … to her Tangled obsession where she proceeded to tell adults I’d “locked her in the garden”, her inability to pronounce her ‘R’s has had her repeating “rank” in a less than appropriate manner, dropping something in a supermarket and getting very shouty “oh for fzzks Sake!” to telling the entire nursery staff that “Daddy has a tail” – I will never live that down! to very matter-of-factly tell random adults at parties “I don’t like you” and to just now, when Casey’s milk bottle leaked all over him (damn these anti colic contraptions) when she said “Look, piss! its pissed all over him!” –

Note to self – We really must get that swear jar fixed.

Merry almost Piss-mas!

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Beaux – Christmas 2016

Hx