Hank Marvin

So here I am, telling my 2 year old not to fuck with me till I’m highly caffeinated. Which, by my standards, probably won’t be till about 3pm.

I feel slightly bad as it’s not her fault her brother was an arsehole all night, but she slept in her My Little Pony jumper 🙄 again last night and she’s been sporting a Cinderella dress over the top of it since 6am so as far as I’m concerned, her day can’t get much better.

While I was pregnant anyone and everyone warned me about having a boy. “You’ll never sleep again. Good luck with the feeding. Prepare yourself for their hunger” and I remember thinking “oh bore off” along with all the useless comments people think are acceptable to say to a pregnant person (which will lead me on to another post, fear not)

But boyyyyy was this something that actually materialised to be of some truth.

I mean, it’s not like there’s anything I could do to prepare myself – Like doing a few laps around the village, sucking on some orange slices, getting some extra sleep or even just any sleep in while I was pregs – which by the way doesn’t happen.

But this kid is something else. There’s 3 gestation weeks between him and his sister. She was 2 weeks late and he was a week early. I’ve tried putting her hunger down to being older than she was and his down to trying to ‘catch up’. Realistically they’re just greedy bastards.

At this point she was already having baby rice in the evenings to tie her over – yes my health visitor said it was fine after 4 months if they show signs they’re ready – before I feel your judgey eyes reading this. So I tried some with him last night…

Only to be met with his disapproving looks towards flavour, temperature and just overall experience. But then if I’d been drowning in sweet warm nectar for the first 4.5 months of life to then be given cold red pepper slime I’d be pretty livid about the whole thing too. (Daddy’s impeccable choice from the limited Tesco express selection)

He’s trying to make light of the situation here but I really felt his disappointment.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset We tried apple purée after and that went down like a Nando’s to the cheeky type. He only had 2 spoonfuls but I think it opened his eyes to a whole new world (fully riding that Arabian carpet). I forget how baby’s turn into crackheads after their first purée hit.

I thought maybe we’d cracked it as we put him down for the long nap… alas, I was wrong.

As standard, for the 3rd night this week he woke up with no warning just 0 – Ethiopian-starved in 0.3 seconds. Anyone listening would think we’d locked him in the cupboard under the stairs and waited for a Hogwarts letter to feed him. In reality he’s eating every 3 hours. 😂🙄

So now I sit desperately, looking out the window with my gallon of cold coffee, praying that Tesco hurry’s the fuck up so we can unload all of the baby food.

Meanwhile,

and its only Wednesday!..

Pray for me,

Hx