Miscellaneous greatness

I have no idea what the fuck to call this?

I basically had a few bits to use up in he fridge and sort of just winged it… no change there then.

It’s essentially a twist of meatballs with chicken meatballs instead with a twist on the el Classico.

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Just stay with me on this. I didn’t even take photos because I wasn’t expecting much till I tasted at the end and blew my own mind!

You will need:

  • Chicken meatballs/pre made were what we had but if you’re a culinary wizard then smash them out ya self!
  • Passata sauce
  • Worcester sauce (the tits in every meal)
  • Mushrooms
  • Onion
  • Celery
  • Spinach
  • Spaglehettiiiii
  • Garlic

Soooo, we all know where this is going, although this time I didn’t even follow a recipe so the winging was real. (I also expected it to be beef meatballs when I got them out the freezer yesterday so this all came to me like a vision in white.)

Method:

  • In a large frying pan heat oil, finely chopped onion (to the point its pulverised if your other half had an aversion to it and used less than half of one), garlic and salt (if it’s not for the kiddies)
  • Finely chop 2 celery stalks and add
  • Finely chop mushrooms and do the same (I used 2 and again, pulverising was essential)
  • Add the chicken balls, we had a 12 pack and it made 3 big meals (once they were almost fully cooked I quartered them so they were less offensive)
  • Add enough passata to get them swimming, not drowning and add a cup of water
  • Add Worcester sauce, I’d add gallons if I could but you do you
  • Get the spaghetti on
  • Let it simmer and add some pasta if it looks a bit dense. (I let it simmer for about half an hour- 45 mins to get even more flavour)
  • In the last 5 mins add spinach
  • Serve with lashings of cheese if you fancy. Of course you fancy! (Some mozzarella would have gone down an absolute treeeat!)

Beaux loved helping again chopping the mushrooms, breaking up the celery and sprinkling the spinach (could have used basil) we went on a massive walk and got an onion on the way so coming in from the chilly afternoon this was very warmly welcomed! (I did have to go over all the chopping to get it really fine but it was great to get her involved!)

I mean, I’m not sure how much Play Doh she ate with it, but it was a hit! I thought about adding a red pepper we needed to use up but I didn’t think the flavours would gel. Again you could mix up the meat/veg or even pasta type, essentially making it a completely different fucking meal 🤣

Enjoy!

Hx

Mushroom Risotto

This one was loads of fun as it involves lots of stirring (witch brews, magic potions, cake mix) as well as cutting, breaking and sprinkling to work in all those fine motor skills.

Professional mixer

You will need:

  • Risotto rice
  • Mushrooms
  • Onion
  • Spinach
  • Asparagus
  • Vegetable stock
  • Parmesan
  • Butter
  • Garlic

(I’ll give you the measurements we used, we roughly followed the BBC goodfood (another classic). Also add wine or chicken if you want/have any)

Method:

  • Heat oil and add onion and garlic, fry until softened
  • Add the cut up mushrooms and fry until browned and add spinach and asparagus  (I got Beaux to use her child knife and cut up the mushrooms, break up the asparagus and sprinkle in the spinach)

 

  • Stir in rice and coat in the oil till glossy then slowly add stock and simmer, stirring while you go until liquid is absorbed. Continue till all liquid is absorbed and the rice is silky and tender (we used 1.2l of hot veg stock)
  • Add a little butter, salt/ pepper for adults and serve with freshly grated Parmesan.(Beauxs favourite part was definitely the cheese!)

I never realised how simple this is to make but after smashing it I felt like a Hells Kitchen survivor! Now I’ve got to grips with the basics we will definitely be varying it! It’s definitely a great was to get a decent meal out of the strays you need to use up in the fridge/freezer. – Ideal end-of-the-month meal.

Obviously she then realised she had to eat what turned out not to be “cake mix”

Hx

A weekend well spent brings a week of content.

I would put my featured image as my face this morning, but in all honest I have no doubt someone would set up a GoFundMe page and send round a Samaritan.

After about 4 hours broken sleep I’d also like to say I’m currently attempting to fill my Monday-caffeine-quota, but alas, Miss Bliss has other plans for me today and she’s already spilt half my gallon-mug all over me. Thankfully, and unsurprisingly, it was cold.

After a brilliant start to the weekend of baking muffins, bulk cooking pasta sauce and generally parenting the shit out of life, a sleepover with Beauxs all-time-faves, us parentals out in London for a gig – and me not losing my shit or getting even slightly clammy. (probs the 29501475934 starters I ordered from Wagamamas that absorbed the fear, or the fact James Arthur was so ridiculously good I was distracted from the amount of people around me. Well done, sir.)

I should have known it was too good to be true on the way home when the car decided to die a coolant death with 4% phone battery between us.

We put the Christmas tree up on Saturday (sorry Scrooges) only to be met with a limited supply of fairy lights. (Its their fault for being so twinkly that I’ve slowly put them up elsewhere throughout the year.) So with a half lit tree I went out on the fairy light hunt.

I’d been gone an hour and returned home to rock solid cookies, Beaux fashioning Sharpie all over her face and had emptied a baggy of star/glitter sequins all over the shag pile rug like she was at a crafting exhibition. – sprinkle that shit!

The tree was finished and we were in full Christmas mode. Turning down Michael Buble only to hear the sweet sounds of Casey, barking like a seal.

He obviously sensed we had a relatively decent sleep on friday night and thought he’d like a show around of Abingdon Hospital. Cheers pal. Croup is a thing of the devil but so was the film playing in the waiting room. ‘Obsessed’ – Idris and Beyoncé what the fuck were you thinking?

Sunday came round before my head even hit the pillow when Beaux decided to wake up the second I got back from hospital to tell me “I just love Kitty cat. Lets read together” Lets absolutely not. She then woke up about 3 hours later to come and ask me to put on her Cinderella dress…

Later in the day we went to a wedding showcase, Beaux was good until we walked in and she demanded food, found some brownies, ate one, licked the rest and then put them back.

Fast forward to last night, where Casey was either trying to attract all the dogs in the area, or dreaming of a past life where he danced for fish at a marine park. #sleepreallyisfortheweak

This morning just set up the day really when Beaux came in with a “present” for me.

She goes downstairs with Dan before work and comes back up when he leaves, sometimes there’s a gap in timing. Today was one of those times. As I began opening the gift covered in paper, a sudden rush of irrational fear swept through me, I saw what looked like a few handfuls of teeth. FFS…Panic averted as it was just an entire packet of chewing gum she’d broken up.

So now I’m just trying to reassure myself that ‘it can only get better’.. till I imagine what it will be like when they’re both able to set fire to the house.

Happy Monday friends. Stay safe.

And if you can’t stay safe just smile and wing it.

Yes that’s Beaux in the back eyeing up which bit of the tree to terrorise.

Godspeed.

Hx

Hank Marvin

So here I am, telling my 2 year old not to fuck with me till I’m highly caffeinated. Which, by my standards, probably won’t be till about 3pm.

I feel slightly bad as it’s not her fault her brother was an arsehole all night, but she slept in her My Little Pony jumper 🙄 again last night and she’s been sporting a Cinderella dress over the top of it since 6am so as far as I’m concerned, her day can’t get much better.

While I was pregnant anyone and everyone warned me about having a boy. “You’ll never sleep again. Good luck with the feeding. Prepare yourself for their hunger” and I remember thinking “oh bore off” along with all the useless comments people think are acceptable to say to a pregnant person (which will lead me on to another post, fear not)

But boyyyyy was this something that actually materialised to be of some truth.

I mean, it’s not like there’s anything I could do to prepare myself – Like doing a few laps around the village, sucking on some orange slices, getting some extra sleep or even just any sleep in while I was pregs – which by the way doesn’t happen.

But this kid is something else. There’s 3 gestation weeks between him and his sister. She was 2 weeks late and he was a week early. I’ve tried putting her hunger down to being older than she was and his down to trying to ‘catch up’. Realistically they’re just greedy bastards.

At this point she was already having baby rice in the evenings to tie her over – yes my health visitor said it was fine after 4 months if they show signs they’re ready – before I feel your judgey eyes reading this. So I tried some with him last night…

Only to be met with his disapproving looks towards flavour, temperature and just overall experience. But then if I’d been drowning in sweet warm nectar for the first 4.5 months of life to then be given cold red pepper slime I’d be pretty livid about the whole thing too. (Daddy’s impeccable choice from the limited Tesco express selection)

He’s trying to make light of the situation here but I really felt his disappointment.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset We tried apple purée after and that went down like a Nando’s to the cheeky type. He only had 2 spoonfuls but I think it opened his eyes to a whole new world (fully riding that Arabian carpet). I forget how baby’s turn into crackheads after their first purée hit.

I thought maybe we’d cracked it as we put him down for the long nap… alas, I was wrong.

As standard, for the 3rd night this week he woke up with no warning just 0 – Ethiopian-starved in 0.3 seconds. Anyone listening would think we’d locked him in the cupboard under the stairs and waited for a Hogwarts letter to feed him. In reality he’s eating every 3 hours. 😂🙄

So now I sit desperately, looking out the window with my gallon of cold coffee, praying that Tesco hurry’s the fuck up so we can unload all of the baby food.

Meanwhile,

and its only Wednesday!..

Pray for me,

Hx

The dreaded question

So today I was faced with the all-time bug bearing question every new mum faces.

I’ve heard it a lot the last 17 weeks and while usually I’m relieved I can answer to the comfort of the questioner, today was difficult.

“Is he good?”

You mean does he sleep and stay quiet? – Well yes, usually he sleeps and doesn’t cry.. unless he’s hungry, or tired, or bored, or lonely, or scared, or cold, or hot, or fancies a cry. Because surprisingly, and completely unbeknownst to me, he’s a tiny baby. (Who would have known? I thought they came out knowing the basic principles of morality?! I know some fully grown adults that still don’t know this…) So his basic survival skills don’t always allow for being a good baby. – And quite frankly Barbara, last night he was an utter arsehole. I’m still sticking to my word that croup is a thing of the devil and I’m pretty sure at around 2am 666 faintly showed up on his forehead.

It’s hard enough as it is during those sleepless moments that feel like days when you start questioning your ability as a parent, your capability as a human and in the darkest times, the love for your child. That added with people’s opinions that your baby, in that moment, is bad can become an even lonelier and scarier place. It’s not about good or bad, it’s about knowing your baby is alive, healthy and while that entails the ability to let you know vocally their needs, its kept them alive thus far.

So lets all just take a minute and think about the newborn small talk (and we all know how I feel about pregnancy/newborn/general small talk) and maybe adjust the question… Like Is he happy? 

Well yes, he’s beyond happy, he smiles the second he wakes up and sees me, his world lights up when Dan is around and his first gummy giggle was at Beaux. (Don’t get me started on people’s attitudes and opinions towards how she should correctly behave around him.) But maybe his happiness is an involuntary reaction to trapped wind?! He could be miserable as fuck deep down.

So is my baby good? Well he’s alive and striving and other than the croup set back and being an arsehole on what seems to be purpose at times, he’s been a perfectly perfect baby to me, but ultimately he’s just a baby, a baby that genuinely coughs and farts at the same time just as much as the next.

Hx

Here’s them at 2am. Where I was top of their guest list to Partytown. Casey did an exceptional, shouty bollox, rendition of Prince’s Kiss and Beaux just kept asking when it was time for breakfast...

-There were 4 in the bed and Daddy said “Fuck this.”-