Six months of Coops

As I’m pretty sure every parents says it and I am being constantly reminded recently, the time is just flying by. Casey has changed SO much already in his first 6 months, much like my love for him. My love for him is as deep as it is wide, I fall in love with his generous smiles, more and more everyday. We had a rough start and it was a challenging time dealing with severe separation anxiety after recovering from a car accident, along with a lot of other factors, while trying to welcome a second baby into our already well established unit. But as I slowly came out the other side my love has grown ferociously. I knew there was the ability to love a second child as much as the first but I don’t think I was prepared for the capacity in which it floods your soul.

My love for Beaux has also grown tenfold from the way she must always know where he is, have a part of her body touching his when we’re sat together and always asking after him when she’s been away for a period of time. Her generosity and how she’s welcomed him with open arms and an open heart has mine bursting at the seams. (She said she wanted to share her birthday with him and he could have some of her presents and balloons because that is what you do when you love someone, you share what you have) – no you’re crying.

My heart floods with love every time I look at him. Maybe its a Mother-son thing, but the way he smiles and kicks his legs when he sees me like an excited frog that’s just found his feet killlllls me. Believe me, that four-month sleep regression nearly broke me but there really is no coffee that can awaken your heart like those gummy, old man smiles.

My boy B

He’s always been a very chilled baby right from the beginning, and already has the sweetest little mannerisms; that little smile he does with his tongue out genuinely does things to my heart, I can almost hear it crumbling.

Morning Bliss

At six months Casey LOVES his jumperoo, he gets so into the bouncing he then loses it and has to centre himself again. It’s hilarious to watch. He likes to sit upright with us and doesn’t particularly like being flat but he’s very good at the arched back when he’s had enough. His back is SO strong its a struggle to try to keep him sat up as he just straightens up and pulls himself up to standing. He finds sheer delight in being naked though, when he gets fussy and I’ve tried everything we get him naked and like Mary Poppins, we get his sunny attitude shining through again.

I love watching his face light up when he sees Daddy or hears his voice, and the way he gazes up at his big sister so adoringly , always interested in whatever Beaux is up to. Unsurprisingly she was the first one to get him to do the full belly roll laugh which was, as you can imagine, utter joy. They are constantly giggling together and often Casey will just look at her and smile in adoration. If ever you were unsure of having another child, that very look will give you absolute reassurance that it was the right thing to do. They are definitely both old souls and when I see them having secret conversations I imagine they’re both recalling another time.

“And I’d chose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d chose you.”

He started having purées a few weeks ago as he was still starving after bottle feeds and had been feeding every two hours during the nights most days so where I’ve felt appropriate, he’s had small portions of age appropriate foods and has since had far less disturbed sleeps.

Oh the irony. And the rolls!

Which brings me onto every mums favourite subject – sleep. I guess that’s all most people seem to care/worry/compete about. Well to be honest, it can vary day-to-day. Some nights he’ll feed 3 times, some nights he’ll just need turning and some, well few, he’ll sleep all the way through. Let’s just say we won’t be winning any competitions anytime soon.

Sleeping mancub

Which leads me on to routine. Yes routine is important. Tiny humans work best when they know what to expect and when, however if that routine doesn’t coincide with them/you that day then it can make for a very frustrated baby and mama. Mostly, he’s alert and ready for the day about 8am, needs a fairly decent nap from 11-1 but then will need another one about 4 then bed at around 8. But if he’s had an unsettled night or his sisters kindly given him her cold I can’t expect to stick to the exact routine the next day.. unless you’re Gina Ford and hate children.. who also doesn’t have a child for her point of reference.

Beaux had even less routine than Casey does, which served her so well for nursery and being looked after by others. A happy baby is a happy life. So while we aren’t structuring our day around meal times just yet and as long as he is ready for bed by 8pm, he sleeps when he’s tired and eats when he’s hungry. That way he’ll be rested and fed enough to last the night, making for one very happy well slept baby! Which is essential as he starts to explore the world even more. He’ll soon be in nursery and I don’t want to be that mum that’s day is utterly ruined and everyone’s been thrown off keel, pulling teeth because baby didn’t sleep from 1:45 – 2:05. I’m just not that structured and need to live life. There may be an emergency trip to McDonald’s at noon, so if baby sleeps in the car half an hour early I don’t want to have to regret my beige food choices for the rest of the week.

Some days I still can’t quite believe that he is actually here after what felt like 265 months of pregnancy. And then I realise that so soon he’ll have been out of my tummy longer than he was in.

I feel so incredibly lucky to be his mummy.

The boy who stole my heart

I just can’t get enough of him – he changes everyday and is developing such an amazing personality, I can’t wait to see his similarities and differences to his sister. And I can’t, for love nor money, stop kissing his irresistible cheeks. He really was the missing piece to this family and he is so loved by everyone, mostly Beaux.

Motherhood is a way of seeing magic in the world that you might otherwise be blind to. A world that so often can be ruthless and cruel. Children’s innocence really is something that makes the world go round, it’s something we could all do more of. I feel so privileged to be able to look at the world through their eyes, and see love and joy in everything.

His happiness every morning waking up to us and being so happy just to be alive is something magical in itself.

Hx

Casey Cooper Bliss

2017- another year around the sun.

Sorry its two weeks late! I’ve been up to my nuts in all things unicorn mentally preparing myself for a 3rd birthday… Finally finished this.

2017 was an interesting one, a fucking long one considering I was pregnant for about 17 months of it. Although I seemed to have blinked and missed it all. 🤔

I barely remember being pregnant, however everyone that was around me will vividly recall how I despised everything of everyday. – Considering I had an absolutely blessed pregnancy for the second time, I feel I probably took the piss a bit. Second time round there’s minimal enjoyment or time to compare your little foetus to fruit and veg. Plus you know what’s coming, or at least you think you do, then the night feeds and zero neck control hits you like a sack of newborn-tar-shit. Second time round it’s really just about getting through the day and keeping everyone alive.

I’m ready for a year of not being pregnant, because this is a biggie for me and all my friends turning 30, so it’s an excellent time to not be pregnant. Listen to my words, BabyGods – notice the emphasis!
Ready to wear things that don’t resemble tents, but at the rate I’m going on the #cheesegate front I may just have to crack back into the maternity box. (that’s waiting for a vulnerable, hormonal pregger to buy off my Depop – not awaiting the next incubation!)

Plus a heatwave would be welcomed in 2018, as long as I’m not 486 weeks pregnant this time.

Here’s just a few of my faves from 2017.

The last few days with my 1 year old
Beaux’s 2nd birthday – cake at 6am before work/nursery definitely sets the day up right.
Cat party with Frank and Bev.
The utter sigh of relief when you see their little body after spending the half an hour in the waiting room working yourself up that you were in actual fact having a phantom pregnancy and the whole thing was a lie.
‘Is it summer yet?’ The classic ‘coming soon’ post.
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These two
The last time. Beaux’s last sink bath
The first walk of the year. Tried to ‘stay active’ during this pregnancy.. even though I was working 9/10 hour shifts a day.
It’s a BOY!
Loving Helen all year.
Always
Quenching that pregnancy craving.
Beaux clearly thrilled about my ever growing bump
CRACKED POTTY TRAINING IN ONE GO soznotsozforthesmugness
Did a 4.5 hour drive to Cornwall solo with this one and survived. Although we listened to Frozen soundtrack the.whole.way.home.
Went for an innocent day out that turned out to be one of the fucking hottest days of the year and stupidly we decided to pick strawberries in a greenhouse.
Literally got to the point I had to hold my bump up.
A day in the gardening swimming, with Dan showing the benefits of sunscreen
The actual hottest day of the year, 35 degrees and about 75 months pregnant.
Baby shower of dreams
Brunching with the Babe Bliss
10 mins before my waters broke I got the weirdest feeling so went and sat with B and took a photo thinking this might be the last time its just us.
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Casey Cooper Bliss 28/07/17 – 15:02 – 6lb7 The cub
He was so tiny!
Breastfeeding her baby
Bee met Bear!
Love
More love
“Never a dull moment”
Love
London
Those cheeks
CoseyCub
That just about sums up the last few months of 2017
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I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
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Watching these two fall in love with each other more every day
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Caseys first night in his own room!
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All got a bit much for him Christmas morning
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1st Christmas as 4!
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Nonnys 90th Christmas and Nanny made a light up gingerbread house of dreams!
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Lads
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The boy

 

And thats basically every photo in my camera roll. JK there’s currently 9k+

Wishing you all a year filled with love and all the best ones.

Hx

 

 

 

Meangirls

So its been a year since I found out I was pregnant with Casey, although it was 2 weeks before this that Beaux started listening to my belly, telling me she was listening to a baby boy (what the actual f*ck!?).

I’m beyond happy to say my pregnant days are over. Yes I hate to say I was blessed both times, but I was. No sickness, no real difficulties other than hating every single moment the second time round.. (soz CaseyBear.) Partly because there’s no time for rest or naps second time round, partly because I was working 9/10 hours days but mostly because babies are parasites and absolute fun sponges.

And while I was one of the ‘lucky ones’ I was still inundated with comments and opinions and judgey eyes that woke a hormonal rage inside me, so f*ck knows how women deal with that while having all the horrendous symptoms to boot – let alone the complicated journeys so many mothers undertake before even getting to the point of pregnancy.

At what point is it ok to comment on the size, shape or location of a belly? my bump with Beaux was tiny for months. I’d get asked “is the baby ok? ohhh thats such a small bump for the age?”ABSOLUTELYDOONELESLEY! This time it was, “god you couldn’t get bigger if you tried! or Wow look at the size of you!”

– I’m sorry Brenda, but my midwife said I needed to put on at least 50lbs to have a healthy pregnancy and as much as my old psyche protested, I figured fuck it, this is the ONE time I can eat anything (and surprisingly still be judged) so I exceeded her expectations and gained 57! Go me.

Turns out though he was only 6lb7 so I can’t even blame the weight gain on it being “all baby”. Maybe thats where this greediness started.

And don’t get started on the disapproving comments on feeding preferences, sleeping preference, childcare preferences. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER TO YOU HOW SOMEONE CHOOSES TO KEEP THEIR BABY ALIVE?! If its easier to co-sleep so you all get some sleep, then fucking co-sleep, catch those Z’s. If someone wants to flop a tit out in Tescos to feed their baby the most organically natural way, rather than spend £10+ every few days on formula, then fair play to them.

However if someone chooses to bottle feed how is it acceptable (from my midwives) to say “obviously its your choice but there’s less support here for bottlefed babies”) – GOOD ONE Wallingford Maternity Led Unit. – Thankfully I was lucky to have no problems with latching or supply but imagine if I did, or decided actually, black raw nipples and milk pissing everywhere just wasn’t something I was willing to sign up for. What then? So many women have all kinds of complications with feeding. The bare minimum are actually dealt with a sweet hand so when I see someone absolutely crushing #breastfeedawareness it gives me all the lady feels.

Its difficult to feel supported or empowered when so many professionals treat a new mum as a chore in their job rather than understanding this is completely new and mostly terrifying experience first time round. Even second time round. (shout out to all the students/midwives that actually give a shit about the meaning of their job. – and an even bigger shout out to Gail Walter – John Radcliffe who, even though has probably delivered 93279467239564 babies, she made us feel like bringing Casey into the world was the first and biggest achievement of her career. Thats how its done people.)

What concerns me the most is its always women commenting and judging. Men know better than to poke the fire (thats caused by the belly-of-smaug heartburn). It just baffles me that women seem to miraculously and immediately after birth forget that its just not ok to say basically anything to a pregnant whale *i mean women* that she’s not already said about herself. Word of warning – no matter how utterly fucked a pregnant women looks, don’t tell her she looks tired. Like when everyone tells new parents they look knackered. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I thought women were meant to all be in this together. Girl power. Spice world, Beyoncé and all that bullshit. If every day women can’t seem to support each other during a time thats so sensitive and emotionally fucking then this whole ‘feminism’ thing seems like the blind leading the blind.

but thats none of my business…

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Hx

(This sounds awfully shouty bollox but come on girls, bumps unite!)

Even she was judging me at this point. 🙄😂